Big Yellow Bus

The school bus. Brings back such fond memories of my youth. But not really. Why did I agree to chaperone a school field trip with my 5th grader? Oh I  remember now, because he asked me to go. And I rarely go on field trips. The reason? I am not comfortable being responsible for multiple children that are not my own. And the bus is TOO DAMN LOUD. The girls are louder than the boys too. It’s true. The boys may be more hyper but the girls shriek. A lot. Did I shriek like that in my younger days? Never. 

It boggles my mind why the kids climb UNDER the seats through the filth to switch seats. So the driver doesn’t see them, I get it. But it’s like The Shawshank Redemption prison escape down there. True, it’s not 500 yards of actual shit, but you get the idea.

Listening to my son ask his friend, “Can you duct tape yourself to a wall?” is a comforting thought. I didn’t hear the reply. Kids say the darndest things. Snippets of random conversations between 10 year olds float about the bus. Did I mention these are VERY LOUD snippets? 

“One nail will really hurt you. Think about the weight distribution.”

Girl: “I wish we could wear pajamas.”

Boy One: “I spy on you every night.”

Boy Two: “You’re a creepy stalker.”

Boy One: “We should nail my mom to the wall.” 

This must be the result of the duct tape question. Impressed by their attention span to the conversation.

And we’re only halfway to our destination. Good times.